Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Talrog's LiveJournal:

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Friday, July 31st, 2009
2:53 pm	Long time no post So its been quite a while since I posted publicly on here. Now this site seems a bit more anonymous with facebook/myspace etc...taking off. Over the last two years I have really been struggling with Depression. I had kind of a crash and went to a hospital wed/thur this week. I feel the need to kinda put this stuff down and if anyone sees it and wants to read or comment im cool with that. I had bleached and than dyed a small lock of hair bright red over the last 2 and half years or so...I called it my "power-stripe" as kind of a joke from when republicans all started wearing Bright-red ties. It started as kind of an experiment but also forced me from being a wall flower, when you have a lock of vibrant red hair people do not forget or not notice you. Anyway just kinda a foreword to explain a few obscure things and some history. Listed is a conversation I had with a friend on AIM...names changed to protect the sane. ( Conversation w friend on aim...some might find a lil funny Would you like to know more ) ( Part 2 how I am feeling now ) Current Mood: MAD Current Music: They might be Giants...whole catalog (2 Glorifactions | Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)
Saturday, March 8th, 2008
3:11 am	Freestylin   Bustin my mad rhymes in the end times where right is a crime and the wicked and slime have all the dimes. I’m drinking and thinkin from the vine of eternal shine, watchin the wicked whine and cry'n before they pay the fine. Its not the game today that you gotta play but the one that goes on for eternity. You get paid, laid, made in the shade  but brother all you really got is played  by the shade over a billion graves.   The enemy for eternity of man you see, the deceiver, unbeliever will be thy reaper, but you can forget that strife and put your name in the book of life. Its so simple cant you see for that sacrifice at Calvary was the end to all our misery. Get smart change of heart be a part of the family that will be eternity!!!! Shalom Current Mood: Rap-tastic (2 Glorifactions | Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)
Saturday, February 2nd, 2008
6:41 pm	Ten things I love that start with the letter "T" 1.)        Thoughtfulness  (bad days can melt away if this is properly applied) 2.)        Tigers               (even though on occasion they sell out to cereal companies or maim taunting teenagers) 3.)        Tangerines        (Citrus heaven) 4.)        Thai food           (MMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm) 5.)        Tea                   (Especially Chai) 6.)        Time Bandits     (Great Movie) 7.)        Terror                (If written or filmed well in a book or movie, not so much in real life) 8.)        Tesla, Nikola     (One of the greatest minds in history, a real “mad scientist”) 9.)        Tenacious D      (Sometimes Jack Black just cracks me up) 10.)      Teachers           (Without them where would we be, we all learn and teach from each other) Comment and I'll give you a letter; then you have to list 10 things you love that begin with that letter. Afterward, post this in your journal and give out some letters of your own. This letter T was given to me by zahdi Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: The Roots Seed 2.0 (4 Glorifactions | Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)
Sunday, December 30th, 2007
4:56 am	Repost from a friend: Religious thoughts ( Would you like to know more... ) Current Mood: relaxed Current Music: Evanesence (Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)
Sunday, December 23rd, 2007
11:03 am	Winter Soltice Pic ( Would you like to know more ( PIC ) ) (4 Glorifactions | Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)
Wednesday, October 24th, 2007
12:28 am	Nightmare ( Would you like to know more? )   Current Mood: broken Current Music: Gary Jules - Mad World (Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)
Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007
11:58 pm	Operation 'Ragin Cajun': Mission Report Well I will try to summarize the 1st 36 hours or so of my trip into TX. It was a remarkable example of the chaos that seems to creep up on me.   ( Would you like to know more? ) Current Mood: drained Current Music: Shakespear Sisters-Stay With Me (Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)
Saturday, October 13th, 2007
11:11 am	Operation 'RAGIN CAJUN' ( Would you like to know more? ) (2 Glorifactions | Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)
12:39 am	Anniversary Pain Mother taken, along with my innocence Life showing me so young what pain really is, hers and mine Wounds from that day poked and prodded by the callousesnes of youth Misery, Gluttony, Escape A pinpoint of light at the end of the tunnel becoming larger and brighter My life is getting better after such a loss I become a beam of pure will. So focused Happiness Temperance Reality Life Gets ready for its one two punch Grandmother taken unexpectedly so many unanswered questions So much pain Regrets, words left unsaid, now forever Watching two suffer so much before death is almost unbearable There will be a third Father and son, alone in the darkness together, fighting the battles against life Moving on after so many injuries, so much agony Walking together but one would soon walk alone Father struck by the same dagger that took my Mother Watching the wasting away of a noble man, body and spirit Unbearable agony becomes a daily event for him and me Finally his release from torment and my immersion into it Reality slides away There is only darkness and pain I am blind to all else The hurting is so much I lose pieces of myself Some I fear forever Wandering finding what I thought was love Soon life would erode it away My anger and sadness corrupt what was once beautiful It to becomes as dark as I have A new Life becomes yet another death Sanity Slithers away How can one man be so tested An entropic Midas All I touch dies and rots All I accomplish crumbles away Life turns its back raising its arms in victory I lay in a pool of blood But I do not give in I rise up to continue the fight Life is far from through At every turn I am beaten and crushed Down and down again I fall yet I rise I am now beginning to wonder why? Current Mood: blue (Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)
Sunday, September 30th, 2007
11:04 am	Some interesting characters: Opening Scenes ( Would you like to know more? )     Current Mood: angst filled :) Current Music: OK GO: A Million Ways (Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)
Saturday, September 22nd, 2007
12:00 pm	A day of union ( Would you like to know more? ) Current Mood: Joyful Current Music: Shakespear Sisters-Stay With Me (3 Glorifactions | Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)
Wednesday, June 6th, 2007
10:30 am	Haiku por vous ( Dark Haikus ) Current Mood: guess Current Music: Alternative 80s Web-radio (2 Glorifactions | Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)
Tuesday, June 5th, 2007
1:03 pm	The murderer is in this room Current Mood: determined (4 Glorifactions | Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)
Friday, June 1st, 2007
7:12 pm	Bad day ( Really really bad ) Current Mood: drained Current Music: Blue Oyster Cult-Don't Fear the Reaper (13 Glorifactions | Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)
Thursday, May 31st, 2007
5:58 pm	The new world of video games ( Would you like to know more? ) (Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)
Saturday, May 12th, 2007
3:07 am	Of Springs storms and shadows ( of Springs storms and shadows ) Current Mood: Worn Down Current Music: Nine Inch Nails downward spirial (4 Glorifactions | Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)
12:10 am	Well, I can barely spell it let’s see if it helps, Cathartic writing and you I have been a depressed person for most of my life, and much more so the last few years strangely enough (I say that for lack of any intuitive trigger for said depression). From time to time I would write bad poetry or do a picture these things helped somewhat and also gave me something to do. I find myself in a very emotionally rotten and unstable place once again, so I may attempt to write here and there to ease some of the stress valve. I put this out on LJ because hopefully I can look back some time from now and remember back to how bad it was, and be glad for that change...I'll most likely be locked in a death struggle with some mutant LARPer whose already weakened view of reality and swiftness with number crunching has made them perfect for our brave new world. Regardless though I do just adore well deserved compliments and even not so well deserved (pride is its own punishment in that regard) I am doing this to get a perspective of where I am have been and hopefully will be going, so I will be reprinting some of my older stuff...sort of making a neighborhood of old and new things. Feel free to comment or not (I think like 3 people read this ever so no big deal). I am my own audience in this endeavor, as well as those who read with me and can help me gain meaning from the poems/stories....So these will not be pretty or perfect only as they are, not an excuse just a fact, and their purpose here is not for kudos and compliments...I'll take them when sincere but thats not what this forum is to be for. As most of these are sad and depressing I will try to place funny animal pics in between ^_^. That is how I wish to be known the Edgar Allen Poe of our times with the cutest fuzzy wuzzy bunny pix.  And Without further tardiness. ( Waiting to Die ) ( Pain ) Current Mood: eroded Current Music: Imogen Heap -Hide and seek (Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)
Saturday, April 28th, 2007
11:45 pm	4-28-07           Has it begun?   Is this my 1st entry….My 1st attempt to net my scattered thoughts and ramblings and lay them down in some understandable ciphered fashion. The events that have lead me to this point are many and varied, a retelling of them quite the task in and of it self. I ask is this my 1st entry because It seems that I have written this same phrase everyday for centuries yet it is strange, alien and at the same time common.   Today I saw them again, they try to hide in the skins of man, but their garments are too (uncomfortable/unnatural) for them, they ware them poorly. The woman and her faceless companion, she was hideous and a poor attempt at blending in but at least they made an attempt w her. The male form that accompanied her wore no face at all and thusly never turned its back from me , even without a face I could feel a cold and smiling glare flow from it. The woman’s grotesque visage lead most viewers away from her companion. Thin reddish hair pulled loosely into a bun. Her face so pointed and unkind to look on it was like cutting thineself. (As I type this strange lights and colors flash before my eyes…..feels like marathon of memories flooding back only to spill loose moments later) She had dull blue eyes that burned cold under her brow, all the features of her face pulled sharply to her chin (like a beak). The mannish thing that was with her said nothing and only moved in accordance of her signals. I often find myself wondering, are they here for my benefit…Am I the stage they perform on. Are they aware of one another or are they oblivious to such things. Why are they really here, to spy…terrify, one knows not, only that they ARE there if one chooses to look. The sharp faced woman gave commands to the shopkeep , as I past this duo I came across another. Again this one tried to where the visage of a woman but did so poorly…long sloth like arms…more made for moving branch to branch in some primeval forest than venturing the sub-urban wilderness, a paunchy gut, bland expressionless face, as though her hair and face were both pulled back into her ponytail. (Dark blue dreams rise again than sharply fall away. A brief recollection of dark dreams strange places with all the familiarity of a cold rainy night, common and varied) She moved around the store always in my path. No matter what I did I would find her in my way soon enough. I knew her game though she wouldn’t confirm it with a meeting glance. “Spy all you like!!! “ As I purchased my items and left I felt the cutting glares of them in my back. Outside the store there were others but none who’s aspect I recall with any favor. The shopkeeps who took payment for the wares were both familiar, an older woman of diminished size ad a dark man w cold blue eyes. He has stolen from me before, bloody heart’s day, I despise him and feel sad for her. As I made my payment I fled back to my home. Thoughts racing through my head w such rapidity that I nearly fell over from the barrage. Once I had collected myself I thought that perhaps I should start a journal to log such strange and alien thoughts. As my fingers glided over the keys opening a new journal, the feeling of a thousand similar journeys all spill forth, but leave behind no trails of such action. My thoughts I find are less and less my own vehicle, given more so to whimsy and randomness. My time under the loving embrace of Tesla’s coil have left me somewhat shocked and stunned.   Memories blinking. I wonder if they…machinated the timing of my treatments so that the powerful stench of the hospital would be dulled by the mental fog. Sanity is merely a word till you are closely devoid of it or surrounded by its emptiness. Than it screams…and screams in Futility. I tumble forward falling and falling into the Abyss. Am I one who speaks fluently the un-sane tongue, a madman who has been dressed head to toe in sanity’s guise only to ensnare her servants in my web. I heard the laughter the whispers the screams...they came in dreamy visions, before my senses drank them in deeply. I moved in this place as natural as any other place is to me. The line of “right” blurred, all those around pulled in by my smile my sweet songs my blood stained wit so sharp and uncaring. APATHY PRIDE WRATH. They danced under the sky I painted. A porcelain jester’s mask constantly in gestures of mirth and humor while the bloody corpse of flesh rots and stinks beneath its façade. GASP. GASP. I am drowning in the sick of madness around me, there is a point to which even I can take no more. Add to that the complications of the scarecrow and the bully and I begin tearing at my flesh and hair to leave.  This is no place to leave off but I grow weary and it is difficult to hold such thinkings to the congruent lens of understanding even with all my mental fortitude about me. Each grain of fatigue rends this task all the more impossible. Current Mood: drained Current Music: Nine Inch Nails- Eraser (Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)
Friday, April 27th, 2007
12:13 am	My Daemon/Shadow ( My Daemon ) Current Mood: tired (1 Glorifaction | Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)
Saturday, April 14th, 2007
2:24 pm	Gotta check in before ya check out Well as some of you know...like the only 2 people who ever read my posts..I have been having a real tough time last few weeks or so. I may be out of town from sunday for a week or so. Try to get some things taken care of and make some progress. Got some big plans for the house , maybe i'll finally be able to get done. As for all my friends i realy do care about you guyz and the support you have given me during these trying times. I have grown so very weary , so very tired of all the crap i'm dealing with now, and I need to be aggresive in getting this stuff in check. i will try to stay in contact while i am away so you guyz dont worry. Meanwhile i'm trying to take care of myself as best i can. Prayers are full apreciated. Anyway thats all for now. Current Mood: depressed (3 Glorifactions | Do you wish to give praise to TALROG)